Researchers Publish Paper on Friendship for the 85+ in Journal of Elder Policy

by Niels Wu

A paper by AgeLab researchers titled “Making and Keeping Timeless Connections: Examining Friendship Among the Over-85 Age Demographic” was published in the Journal of Elder Policy in February. Leveraging the AgeLab’s 85+ Lifestyle Leaders Panel, the paper explores how people aged 85 and older form, experience, and sustain friendships in the last stage of life. Taylor Brennan was the primary author and produced the paper with co-authors Niels Wu, Sophia Ashebir, and Lisa D’Ambrosio.

Data were collected from the Lifestyle Leaders during one of the group’s workshop sessions where attendees, in small groups, discussed memorable moments of friendship throughout their lives, what it means to be friends with someone, and the challenges and benefits of maintaining friendships in very old age. Panelists were also encouraged to complete a follow-up survey where they provided complementary quantitative data such as how many friends they have and how their friendship circles have grown or shrunk over time.

Many participants described friendships spanning decades or even an entire lifetime and emphasized the irreplaceable nature of these relationships. Attendees also explained that their friendship networks tended to shrink in very old age, largely due to the deaths of peers (rather than intentional social withdrawal). They felt intense grief and loneliness, and a compounding sense of loss, with the passing of multiple friends over time.

The paper also highlights constraints on forming new friendships in later life, which many panelists said they found difficult. These include challenges common among the 85+ such as declines in health or mobility, or limited opportunities to socialize outside one’s home. On the other hand, shared housing environments like senior living communities, and technologies like email or video chatting, surfaced as important facilitators of social connection that make keeping and making friends easier.

Finally, the paper discusses some differences that emerged between the ways that men and women approach friendship. While some panelists downplayed gender differences in old age, both men and women frequently acknowledged that women play a central role in sustaining or growing friendship networks for their husbands or male partners. Panelists speculated whether this could be a result of gendered cultural norms that establish what social relationships are appropriate for men and women. Survey results, however, showed men reporting larger networks of friends and greater comfort seeking support from friends, complicating widespread assumptions about gender and friendship.

Overall, the paper suggests that friendship is a critical but potentially underrecognized facet of social life in very old age. To support friendships among the 85+, the authors recommend a variety of policy actions such as increasing support for age-inclusive community programming, expanding transportation or mobility services, and investing in digital inclusion for the oldest-old.

Read the full paper here. If you are age 85+ and interested in participating in AgeLab research, or know someone who might be, learn more about joining the Lifestyle Leaders Panel here.

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About the Author

Photo of Niels Wu
Niels Wu

Niels Wu is a Technical Associate at the MIT AgeLab where he researches the experiences of family caregivers, and how people make financial decisions across the lifespan. He co-coordinates the 85+ Lifestyle Leaders and Preparing for Longevity Advisory Network (PLAN) Panels, and co-manages the AgeLab's blog. Apart from his work at the AgeLab, Niels is pursuing a master's in Library and Information Studies from the University of Wisconsin - Madison. He earned his B.A. from Colby College where he studied Anthropology and Mathematics.

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